From Chasing Destinations to Choosing Peace.
For a long time, I believed travel was about going, going further, going faster, and going somewhere new. As a former flight attendant, movement was my norm. Airports were familiar, our passports were stamped often, and destinations stacked up like trophies. I chased places the way many of us do—measuring experiences by how far I traveled, how exotic the location sounded, or how many boxes I could check off a list. But somewhere along the way, travel began to change me. Not because I stopped loving it—but because I started listening to myself more closely.
When “Been There, Done That” Becomes a Gift
My most recent trip—a 16-day cruise to Hawaii—surprised me in ways I didn’t expect. Hawaii wasn’t new to me. I’d been there before. I’d explored several islands, taken photos, and checked the boxes. In another season of my life, I might have felt pressure to “do more,” see more, squeeze every moment out of each port. This time, I didn’t. And that was the point. Instead of chasing the destination, I chose peace.
Making Space for Different Joys
One of the most beautiful lessons from this trip came not from the destination—but from the way my husband and I traveled together. While I leaned into rest, quiet mornings, and the gentle rhythm of sea days, my husband chose something different. He booked several bike riding tours in port—seeking movement, exploration, and adventure in his own way. And instead of feeling the need to do everything together, we gave each other permission to enjoy the trip differently. There was no guilt.
No pressure. No need to compromise ourselves. Just grace. Empathy. Love.
We reunited after excursions with stories to share—his filled with miles and motion, mine filled with stillness and reflection. We each came back nourished in our own way, and that made our time together even richer.
The Growth of Choosing the Right Travel Partner
Travel has a way of revealing truths—about destinations, yes, but also about relationships. Crossing seasons with the right travel partner is part of growth. It means understanding that compatibility doesn’t require sameness. It requires respect. It requires listening. It requires allowing each other to evolve. We didn’t need to chase the same experiences to feel connected. We needed to honor what each of us needed in this season of life. That realization alone made the trip extraordinary.
The Cruise Became the Destination
The beauty of the cruise was that it supported all of it—the movement and the stillness. While he explored on two wheels, I leaned into the perks that allowed me to rest fully:
Slow mornings without alarms
Quiet meals instead of crowded excursions
Spa moments and long walks on deck
Ocean views that required nothing from me
The ship gave us both what we needed, without either of us having to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of the other.
What Seasoned Travelers Learn
At some point, travel stops being about novelty and starts being about alignment. Seasoned travelers understand that:
Peace is a luxury
Compatibility matters
Rest is productive
Doing less can mean experiencing more
For travelers of color—who often carry the burden of planning, responsibility, and emotional labor—this shift is mighty. Choosing peace isn’t a downgrade. It’s evolution.
Travel as Self-Connection, Not Self-Escape
This Hawaii cruise wasn’t about rediscovering a destination—it was about rediscovering myself, and honoring the way my partner experiences joy. I returned home rested, grounded, and grateful—not just for the trip, but for the way we moved through it together. Because travel doesn’t just show you the world, it shows you who you are becoming—and who you are becoming with.
Choosing Peace Is Still Choosing Travel
Choosing peace doesn’t mean choosing less. It means choosing intentionally. It means traveling in ways that honor your energy, your season, and your relationships. Sometimes that looks like adventure. Sometimes it seems like stillness. And sometimes it looks like both—happening side by side. That’s growth. That’s love. That’s the evolution of an Ebony Traveler.
